I was about to do my regular grocery at SM Aura when I decided to drop by at Estee Lauder to check up some makeup foundation. Finding your perfect shade online sometimes can be confusing, so I always swatch at stores before purchasing to see if it fits me or not. The girl who assisted me was so nice she even offered me a sample, which is not available at that time. I said it's ok, she said I can just come back later but I'm not really in a hurry to getting one as my priority is my grocery. While I was walking out of the store, another girl approached her and they started laughing. I looked back and saw them looking at me like as if they were criticising my existence inside their store. I got intimidated, AGAIN. I thought I overcome my agitated feeling of walking into high-end makeup stores, but being in that situation is a real trigger. In my head I was telling myself, is it because of my appearance, is it because I'm a boy who happens to like makeup, or am I just over thinking? It may be another person they are laughing at or maybe a funny situation, but that instant? I was the only customer inside their store! It really felt different. I decided to go down the staircase instead of the escalator which is near the grocery just so I can avoid seeing their faces again. 

I admit that I have issues with walking into makeup stores before not because I can't afford it, but because I'm a boy, biologically as what my friends always say. I believe it's something rooted from where I grew up with, where men and women are thought to have standard roles in the society. These standards really impacted my train of thoughts that up until now, I am still struggling. I remember a skit from the classic sitcom John en Marsha,  where Marsha ask John to cook rice for dinner because she's feeling lazy. John said it doesn't suit him because he is a guy. They even resorted to betting that only ends up to marsha doing the chore.  I really hate the fact that it's accepted as a norm in my beloved country that's why maybe I am writing this blog post now. 

This is not a rant, it's just me venting out my frustration about the society. I've been longing to live in a gender-sensitive nation where social prejudice doesn't exist, where people respect preferences, and representations of people like me are not limited to jokes and puns. 



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